It's Okay Not To Be Okay

Today's post is something a little different from my usual post's but I've been thinking about this for a while and think that it's so important that someone should say something about it.

I've always been a feisty person. I get that from my mum. I can certainly give as good as I get and I'm not afraid to speak my mind. With that being said, I am extremely emotional. I cry really easily and feel a pang of pain anytime I get a little upset. This brings me to my first point, I have often been in situations where I have been so unsure about what to feel or how to act, and I would usually blame this on my anxiety but it dawned on me that everyone at some point in their will probably feel like this. 

I wanted to share with you some of you some personal experiences of mine and tell you that it's okay not to be okay. 

When I was 15, I was invited to take part in a summer school for a week in which selected students from around the country were sent to University in July as part of a group where we stayed in Halls of Residence and took part in activities that were organised by the group leaders. I was one of those students selected and I was extremely excited about going and making new friends. My dad dropped me off at the halls and I was packed for the week ahead, and as soon as he left after I was registered, I felt this immediate sense of loneliness and like I didn't belong. I tried to relax and enjoy it and make friends but no matter how exciting the activity I just wanted to go home. I knew that I was feeling extremely homesick, but I had never felt like it before so it was a bit terrifying to be honest. Not being the type of person to quit, I stuck it out until the Friday, and when it was all over and my mum picked me up, I was so glad that I had stayed. At that time I was quite young and I thought I was being ridiculously silly about feeling the way I did, but I realise that as long as you have people to talk to and try to open yourself up a little bit, that feeling will slowly decrease.

 Everyone gets to that milestone point in life when their parents go away and leave them at home. When this happened to me for the first time, my boyfriend stayed with me but as soon as my parents left, I felt the same feeling I had a few years ago. Even though I wasn't alone, I felt it. Simply because the comfort and normality of my parents always being around wasn't there for me and for the next few days until their return, I constantly felt teary and just didn't feel right. That's when I first told myself that It's okay not to be okay.

I don't want to fill you with personal stories of mine because I'm aware that this is already an extremely long post but I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to feel like you have to be fine all the time. Sometimes, having an off day day can really do you some good as it can help you get back on top form. Things might not be going the way you want them to and for a while you might not feel like yourself, but honestly, no one will think any less of you, and it's completely normal to have days like this. Just don't be afraid to say that you're not okay instead of replying "I'm fine" when someone asks how you are. I guarantee that you will feel much better about yourself.

I know that this has been an extremely long post, but I hope that it has been helpful to some of you out there. If you have any tips on dealing with this then I would love to hear them as I think that the more the merrier when it comes to advice :)